i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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