Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
