There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
