Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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