he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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