we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
cat food counts as protein by the way
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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