Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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