Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
