In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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