Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
