But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
