"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
