I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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