My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
