Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
