This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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