i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
