I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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