Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
