If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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