Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
