That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
