do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
