In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
