she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
