she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
