There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
