I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
