$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
