just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
