you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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