Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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