were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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