Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
