She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
