I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
