I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
