I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
