I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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