I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
