would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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