I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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