It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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