the new term for farting is butt boxing.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
