I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
