you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just had sex on a roof
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
