Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
