I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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