why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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