is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
