Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
