No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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