Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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