I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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