I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
