last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
