Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My balls are so social today.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
