he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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