I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
