Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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