I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
