she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
