conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
