How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Even my vagina gasped.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
