I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
