I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Your tits are I can't wait for
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
