do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
