if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
